Dear Step-son's Girlfriend

by SCUTTLEBUTT


(Photo stolen from these guys)


Dear Step-son's Girlfriend:

I have tried to like you. I have given it my best, really. When I first met you, you wouldn't get out of the car to come inside and meet me. I thought this was strange, but he said you were extremely shy. No problem, I came outside to meet you. But then I had to knock on the window to get you to roll it down, as if you couldn't see me standing there through the tinted glass. You said "hi" and looked away, bashfully. Later I found out you did the same thing when meeting his sister. We both thought this was strange, but he seemed awfully taken with you, so I let it slide.

Then he told us that your roommate was moving out, leaving you in a lurch -- you had quit your job and could you come live with us and stay with SS in his room until you both saved some money and got your own place. We said yes, because your own family was in another state and you truly seemed to have nowhere else to go. So I helped you move in when SS was out of town for a couple of weeks for work. We even had AAA tow your broken down car to our house so it wouldn't be towed away. I then took you shopping and bought you appropriate clothes and shoes so you could go job hunting. We even loaned you a car and gave you gas money so you could find a job. Yet, you never came out of your room, except when we were asleep. I had to check on you after days went by of not seeing you, to see if you were still alive in there.

Again, SS explained that you had a rough childhood and you were just extremely shy. Sure, he's naive enough to believe that. I was beginning to think you had some serious issues. Then SS asked if you two could just live with us and pay rent. Our home is big enough, you two had your own bedroom, bathroom and a large bonus room where you began collecting furnishings for your own place someday. You had your own TV area, computer area, refrigerator, and microwave in there. It seemed this would probably work okay, the only stipulations were that rent had to be paid, you had to keep your belongings picked up, and you had to find a job. If SS wanted to support you, he would have to do it in his own place, not ours. You both agreed.

Then SS's grandfather passed away. His whole family was there. You could have met all of them, but instead you sat in the car. Not once did you leave his car. Not when we were gathering before the funeral, not at the funeral home, not at the cemetery and not afterwards when we had a luncheon together. You even had SS drive you to a gas station so you could use the bathroom instead of getting out of the car and meeting his family. He explained to everyone that you were extremely shy. But to me, it was downright disrespectful, selfish and rude. I began really not liking you then.

Months went by and you didn't look for a job. You said you were putting in on-line applications, but the phone never rang for an interview and you never left the house -- ONCE. We pressured SS that you really did need to find a job -- it had been FIVE months. You said you wanted a job where you didn't have to work with people. Good luck with that one, honey. Perhaps you should go into the funeral home business. You finally found a job at Kohl's. I was ecstatic. For the first time, you were actually keeping normal hours, dressing, and showering and leaving the house to go to work.

Then I saw you and SS drive up in his car. He came inside, you didn't. I asked him why you were sitting in the driveway in his car, he said it was because you were afraid to come inside. "Why?" I questioned. He said you thought I would be mad because you didn't show up for work that day. You didn't call them. You didn't give them any notice, you just failed to show up at all. I told him, yes, that does make me mad and in fact, you two had 6 weeks to find another place to live. I took the car keys back from the loaner car you were given to drive. You must've come inside when I was in the bathroom -- then I didn't see your face for days. You're very good at knowing when I'm in my bedroom or have left to run errands. You tried to make it up by getting another job, but sorry, too little -- too late.

You had this job all of 2 weeks when you came home and told me you thought you might be pregnant and that SS doesn't realize this, but women in your family can't work when they're pregnant because they have difficult pregnancies. Alarm bells went off in my head. SS was out of town for work, and you said you would wait until he got home to do a pregnancy test. You called in sick to work. You didn't seem sick, though. You still ate and played games on the computer. You claimed you were throwing up all the time, but I saw no evidence of that -- and yes, I was watching. SS came home and apparently you weren't pregnant -- YET. But I have no doubt in my mind that you are trying your best to get pregnant, so you can trap him. So you can quit your job and have him support you. Lord, I hope he opens his eyes before you get pregnant but since this is the first time he's gotten laid regularly, I doubt that will happen. I know what 21 year old boys are like -- their hormones do their thinking for them and yes, he is wrapped around your little finger. But I'm not.

Then Thanksgiving came. SS had plans on spending it with his sister and his mother's side of the family. Which is why I was surprised to see him eating cereal at noon on Thanksgiving. When I asked him why he was eating, before he went to go eat -- he said it was because he wasn't going, because you didn't feel good. I called bullshit on that -- the first time I had been vocal about your behavior in front of you. I asked you what was wrong with you, and you got all pouty and whiney and said your tummy hurt. You reminded me of a 10 year old trying to stay home from school. Scrunching up your forehead and talking in a baby voice doesn't elicit sympathy from me. I told you that I found it extremely odd that you have gone EVERYWHERE SS has wanted to go, EVERY TIME, except when it involves family. Then, you get sick. I told SS he'd be in a lot of trouble with his sister if he didn't show up and that he should go without you. You agreed and said you were trying to get him to go and just leave you at home. He did and you locked yourself in your room.

Later when I returned from Kansas I found out that I hurt your feelings. Well you know what? Fuck your feelings.

I love my SS dearly and it kills me to see you leading him around by the dick. I regret that we ever let you move in with us -- and the funny thing is, I knew I'd regret it when we made that decision, but if we didn't -- we'd look like the assholes by leaving a young girl with no place to go. I've heard your sob stories about how your family doesn't help you, about how ex-boyfriends have mistreated you, about how friends have ditched you -- and you want to know the truth? You've brought it all on yourself. Your attitude and low self-esteem will leave you a perpetual victim to others. You better get used to it. Maybe someday you'll grow up, I hope to God you do -- because honestly, I've never met someone more pathetic.

SS left for work yesterday. He travels for work and is gone for 2 weeks at a time. Imagine my surprise to wake up and find a note on my computer from you this morning telling me that you have taken his car and have driven to Ohio to see your family (1800 miles away). That you will not be back until SS comes home and that he said this was okay with him. I assume you quit your job -- no, you didn't quit -- you just won't show up. Whatever. I am done trying to like you. It doesn't surprise me now that you didn't have the nerve to at least be respectful enough to tell me of your plans, to pack and leave during normal hours and not have to steal away in the middle of the night while we're all sleeping like some thief.

While you are gone, I would love to pack all of your belongings -- both of yours -- and put it in our garage. I know you have until the end of December to "officially" find a new place to live, but I think this last little maneuver might move the date up some.

Merry Fuckin' Christmas.

* * * * *

Please -- input. How would you handle this situation? Granted, I am just the step-mother here -- so I can't lay down the law with SS. His Dad has tried talking some sense to him, but he is really tied around her finger. But it is my house and I honestly don't want to see her face in it again. Would it be wrong of me to draw a line in the sand? Should I just keep my mouth shut until they move out? I don't want to alienate him -- but God, doesn't he see what we ALL see? It's not just me -- everyone who has met her and sees her selfish, immature ways are pretty shocked.

Suggestions, please?