Rules for Submitting Stories to Bartender Face

1. You must be 18 or older to use the drop.io account for Bartender Face. If you are younger than 18, please e-mail me your post to foolery (at) clearwire (dot) net or swamidearest (at) gmail (dot) com (I use both).
2. You don't have to use the drop.io account to upload your file to me; feel free to use e-mail. I will be discreet and not reveal your identity. But using the drop.io account will keep you anonymous even from me.
3. No threats against me or anyone else will be posted to Bartender Face.
4. Illegal activity described in any post submitted to Bartender Face will be subject to the Blog Dictator's Very Random Sliding Scale of Propriety. Simply put, I get to decide. If your story is about having a beer ten minutes before you turned 21, I'll let that pass. If it's about where you buried Jimmy Hoffa, well guess what? I'd like to stay on the good side of the FBI. Probably better not tell me where the bodies are buried.
5. No grudge matches. The people you write about must not be identifiable. I will assume that all names have been changed to protect innocent and guilty alike, and I won't change them. If, however, you tell a great tale but include a line like, oh, maybe " . . . while I was playing tonsil hockey with Al Franken," I would probably change that name to [UNNAMED POLITICIAN] or [SOME GUY FROM TV] or [A MIDWESTERNER THAT SOME PEOPLE LIKE AND SOME PEOPLE DON'T]. See how that works? If I can't salvage it, I won't post it, so play nice.

These are all of the rules that I could think of at one sitting. There may be more; maybe you can suggest some? I'm a strangely democratic thinker for an autocratic blog administrator.

Some things worth considering:

• Come up with a completely unique, untraceable screen name for posting at Bartender Face. If your name is Shirley, I'd advise against using the screen name "Shirl." If you use "Foolery" all over the place, as I do, don't use "Foolery" at Bartender Face. But you may wish to come back at a later date and post a follow-up story, or, thinking big, you may become a Bartender Face favorite, making you a pop culture icon, so you really ought to have a unique name here.
• I will post your writing just as you give it to me, with very few exceptions. If your writing is filled with vulgarities, it probably won't see the light of day. A well-placed swear word or two shouldn't be a problem, but try to keep it reasonable, okay? If you drop a really, really offensive word into an otherwise reasonable story, I may use [EDITED 'CAUSE MY GRANDMOTHER WOULD BLUSH] or something. Work with me.
• If you want photos or graphics included I will post them (within my standards of tastefulness), but I will assume that you have permission to use them and that they are "safe" and will not identify you. If you want me to find a suitable image, please include a note to me asking me to find something. I will do my best.

Hokay, that should have exhausted you. Welcome, and I hope to have some submissions to share very soon!

-- Laurie