(Photo used with permission from Simon A Eugster at Wikimedia Commons)
So I need a place to vent where no one I know will see me...I have a blog or three, but they're read by people I know and I'm just not in the mood to be lectured or pitied. I simply need to vent.
I can't pay my bills.
I can't say that elsewhere because some people think that's me asking for help.
I'm not. Me asking for help is "Look, I hate to ask, but I could use a hand, here..."
I'm just frustrated, worried, stressing...I can't pay the power, can't pay the water, can't pay for the phone, the Internet...I have no income and nothing in the offing, and when I DID ask another person for help...all I got was a stern lecture on why I need to change the way I live, tighten my belt, do without, and they can't help me because things are tough all over.
Thanks. Because the money I was trying to borrow was for the medication I need to keep from dying early from kidney failure or a stroke and I'm pretty sure tightening my belt won't help with that and also the last time I went without meds (for almost a year), that same person berated me for weeks about how I should have come to her for help...but you know, whatever.
I'm cold all the time because I don't dare turn up the heat, and my kid doesn't ask me for anything any more because at six he already knows "We can't afford it" as his life's refrain. He's not hungry yet...but it may be coming. I've been advised to apply for food stamps. Great. Because without power and water, a bunch of food sitting around getting nasty is just the thing to cheer a body up.
So now I am done bitching and will enjoy what I have while I have it...and keep trying to meet my obligations without axe-murdering people who think they know how to live my life. It's hard to grip an axe handle when you're shivering...